In a move that's destined to be called either Innovative or Abominable, the Canadian scouting movement has formed the first Gay troop. “Going to Camp” will now have other possible interpretations. And although this first group is for 18- to 26-year-olds, there is some talk about a troop for 14- to 17-year-olds.
A spokesman for the Scouts, Andy McLaughlin, said that some negative reaction is expected. Talk about understatement! McLaughlin says that he has no worries about attracting people who would be looking for opportunities to abuse young people. So far, nine individuals have signed up, both male and female; the troop is open to both sexes.
McLaughlin says that the troop “promotes itself as openly gay so that youth who are gay can enjoy scouting activities.” This will include selling cookies, fund raising, and bondage - sorry, tying knots.
One of the aims of the Scouting association is to provide a safe and active environment for young people with homosexual leanings. Figured indicate that the rate of suicide and homelessness is significantly higher among homosexuals as compared to heterosexuals. Scouting would provide a way of giving young people to work through problems.
New badges will include needlepoint, fashion appreciation and 40's and 50's musicals. Stereotyping? No, surely not?
What is the problem with psychics? If they are so good, here's what they need to do: spend $1 on a lottery ticket and ‘see’ the winning lottery numbers. When the money has been won, simply bank it and live off the interest in a Malibu beach home. S'easy!
Back in the 1970s, Israeli psychic, Uri Geller, rose to fame because of his special gift - the ability to bend spoons by the power of thought only.
Now as psychic ‘gifts’ go, this one is intrinsically useless. Imagine the guy applying for a job, writing down on his resume ‘can bend spoons mentally.’ Hey, on that basis, I'd hire him instantly - not!
For a while, Geller was able to make money by TV appearances, writing books and giving interviews. He said that it became “money, money, money, Gucci suitcases, two Rolex watches, private jets... one day I woke up in a hotel, and it was all just emptiness. I couldn't take it anymore, so I just stopped.” Oh how the heart bleeds for the poor man!
Well that's one possible explanation. Another is that on an edition of the ‘Tonight Show’ with Johnny Carson, he was unable to perform his tricks. He was also asked repeatedly by scientists to repeat his spoon-bending under laboratory conditions, but, like all psychics, he claimed that such conditions inhibit psychic activity and that if he failed, it was because of this rather than his being a fraud.
But Geller is now back with a New Age idea - MindPower. It's a self-help doctrine based on the idea that “Just by being positive and believing in yourself, you can help to heal your ailments... There is a force in all of us, call it telepathy or whatever you want, that can do this.”
Perhaps all he needs to do is change his name to Obi-Wan Kenobi and then the Force will be with him in more ways than one! Presumably Geller will help people release this force with the help of a few thousand dollars from book-buyers and personal workshops. If it works for Sixpack Chopra, it could work for Uri. Especially if he moves to California!
The Pope's visit to India is causing anger amongst some of the Hindu population - Jehovah versus Brahma! Hindus are planning to demonstrate against the Pontiff when he celebrates the Mass this coming Sunday.
Obviously concerned that Jehovah may not be able to protect John Paul against the Hindu gods - for after all, they do have the ‘home team advantage’ - the police are taking precautions. Milk bottles, water containers and handbags will be banned because they could contain weapons.
Unfortunately, Hindu literature has little to say about the gods using milk bottles and handbags as weapons. But if Vishnu the Destroyer gets in on the act, things could get a little messy. Luckily if old Vishy turns up, he should be easy to spot as he is frequently portrayed as half-naked, smeared with ashes, wearing skulls around his waist and a necklace of intertwining serpents. Bit of a giveaway, huh?
The Pope should be in good hands with Jehovah. Sure, maybe Vishnu can cause mayhem and havoc, but Jehovah has been known to send Babelous towers crashing to the ground, send twin cities up in flames, drown Egyptians in their thousands and wipe out all but a handful of the human race with a great flood.
With a player like that on the team, His Holiness shouldn't give a second thought to a scruffy, New Age hippy with a few bones hanging off his trousers!
Mind you, Hinduism being pantheistic means that they could put in a pinch-hitter at the last minute. Hot favorite would be Kali, the Great Mother. She's the consort of Vishnu, a babe when in a good mood, but something of a bitch when the PMT hits!
Still, chances are things should go fine. It's unlikely that Armageddon is going to take place in India. However, if we hear that CNN is sending in a big coverage team...
Sir
So what happened in New York with Major Giuliani, the Art Critic, trying to close an art exhibition?
Jessica, UT.
You will be pleased to know that the First Amendment prevailed. US District Judge Nina Gershon ruled that Giuliani's action against the museum was “directed not just to the content of the exhibit, but to the particular views expressed” and that “there can be no greater showing of a First Amendment violation.”
In other words, just because Giuliani doesn't like art that has mannequins with faces like genitalia, 20,000 live maggots feeding on a cow's head in a glass case, or a painting of the Virgin Mary using elephant dung, he can't shut the museum down.
Gershon's parting shot? “There is no federal constitutional issue more grave than the effort by government officials to censor works of expression and to threaten the vitality of a major cultural institution, as punishment for failing to abide by government demand for orthodoxy.”
Bless her little heart, the Carny is going to e-mail this quote to anyone who feels offended by any of its articles!