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In the land where Men are still Men and Women do as they are told, Australia's ‘Daily Telegraph’ newspaper reports on the case of a judge who clearly has some way to go in helping gender relationships to flourish. The unnamed man from New South Wales managed to put the blame for wife-beating fairly and squarely where it belongs - on the wife!
In what will surely become one of the best quotes at the close of the Millennium, he said that women brought a beating upon themselves by “nagging, bitching and emotionally hurting men.” Not content with this alone, he then went on to use biology as an explanation for aggressive male behavior. “Men cannot bitch back for hormonal reasons and often have no recourse but violence.”
In an hysterical reply, the Minister for Women, who is obviously driven by her hormones at that 'special time of month,' said that his words were “pathetic” and on a “child-like level.” She then went on to say that “some of the magistracy is just not living in the real world.”
The judge's remarks are published in a survey, carried out by a Judicial Commission, that examines the subject of arrests for violence. Of course, this comes from the same country that also members of its government coming to blows in order to solve political disputes. Petty inevitable thought, considering they are men and therefore have “no recourse except to violence.”
So ladies, bear this in mind next time you go to an 'Outback' steakhouse; when the guy serving you says “gudday!” in an Australian accent, don't let him anywhere near your steal knife!
Ericsson Telecoms is Sweden's largest telecommunications company with representation on a global basis. Being in the telecommunications business, one would imagine that its representatives would be attuned to the delicacies of human interaction. Apparently not.
Ericsson has around 140 employees in its Israeli operations, half of whom are Swedish ex-Pats. One of its employees was out recently at a riding club outside of Tel Aviv. It seems that his wife became somewhat irritated when staff couldn't find her horse's reins. She then launched into a tirade, proclaiming that all Jews were thieves, liars and cheats, and that “it was a shame Hitler did not finish off his job.”
Surprisingly, the staff were a little offended by this and the incident resulted in the family being recalled to Sweden. In an effort to patch up the problem, the Head of Ericsson had to appear on TV to publicly apologize, and the company also published an ad in the newspapers to reinforce the apology.
The company is now reviewing the employment status of the employee with a decision about his future with the company expected later this week. It does seem unfair to blame the poor guy because a typical hormonal outburst from his wife spoiled it all. Heck, if they'd been in Australia, all he'd need to do was to slap her around a bit and everyone would be happy!
For some years now, the Barbie doll has been under attack from many quarters, usually on the basis that the poor woman is still attractive after all these years, and a bad role model for young children. However, things may change now that a Prosthesis Specialist from Durham, NC, has found a socially-acceptable way of using Barbie, although the squeamish may want to skip to the next article!
Jane Bahor of the Duke University Medical Center was looking for a way of making a more realistic prosthetic finger for a patient she was working with. She was struck by the way in which Barbie's leg joint worked, allowing her to bend at the knee yet maintain rigidity.
At first, in a Vincent Price-like spree of body snatching, she began to collect old dolls and surgically remove the knee joints, allegedly without the use of anesthetic! She then moved on to a more delicate surgical procedure whereby she would open up the knee, remove the joint, and then close up the hole. Bahor would then give the newly-lamed dolls to children to look after.
At the rate of two and a half Barbies per hand, clearly Bahor had to find a way of getting hold of joints without the brutality of crippling innocent dolls. Her next step was to ask Mattel if she could buy the joints. Seeing the PR value of this, the company donated parts freely.
The down-side of this is that Insurance companies may see a new opportunity for cost-cutting on expensive prosthetic treatments. Need a new eye? How about a large, painted marble. Or hair treatment? Try skinning a teddy bear and dying it! New lungs? Hey, a couple of footballs with balloon innards might work. And just imagine what we could do with a ‘Tickle-Me Elmo!’
Please, gentle reader, say NOTHING of this to your HMO!
Sir
Yesterday you critisized football. Let me tell you I played football and it got me to colledge where I did medicine, OK, so I flunked the exam, but I played football for years until a nee injury stopt me. Anyone who don't like football must be either gay or a complete jerk. Which are you?
Bobby 'bone-crusher' Boucher, AL.
Well Bobby, it's just as well you got a football scholarship because you clearly weren't going to get one for English!
Where I come from we play a game called Rugby. This is similar to football but the men don't wear padding or helmets. Neither do they spend time standing around waiting to move another foot forward. They endure 90 minutes of solid, bone-crushing, teeth-kicking action with one 10 minute break - no wussy time-outs because someone hurt a pinky!
So next time you want to talk tough, come on over to the Carny offices, without all your Nancy-boy padding, and we'll see how tough you really are!
TR: Loving You Is The Best Thing from the album Supercollider.
Things were a little stressed yesterday, so it was time for some Smooth Jazz. This time around, I went for a track that simply glides along. Ted Ray, the TR of the title, takes the lead on soprano sax, alternating at times with Doyle Wood on lead guitar. The song opens with a brief guitar solo, then moves into the sax. On keyboards, Cedric Thompson provides a piano and strings support.
This group of musicians is really the TR Project as it isn't a band as such but a studio effort, drawing on a number of different musicians at different times. The project comes from Fayetteville, North Carolina and the album is available as a DAM CD.
Worth downloading from this MP3.com location.
Written by Doyle Wood & Lynn O'Quinn, Daxwood Publishing Co./BMI, 1992
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